so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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