I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
