What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
it was like eating out sand paper
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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