My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
