Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
