Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
