i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
