ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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