im so drunk with asians
where?
always
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize