you didnt know i had herpes?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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