he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
