I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Randomize
