I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
