i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
3pm strippers are depressing
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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