i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
