I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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