I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Duck Duck Cougar?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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