You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
