I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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