i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize