Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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