i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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