four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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