What a fucking waste of an outfit
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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