I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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