Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
