dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
