Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize