Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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