clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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