now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
