the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
