I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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