JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
