Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
