this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
