it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
