Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
