what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Why can't burritos get me drunk
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize