Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Did you just see the Batmobile???
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
