OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
