i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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