Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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