Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
