Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
then he tried to convert me to islam
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
