You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
