I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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