There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Randomize
