We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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