Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
