You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Your cock deserves a montage
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We need a shit load of segways right now
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize