I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
