u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
