I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
