Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
