I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
