I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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