Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
