1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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