farters have to be the big spoon...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
