apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
