It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
