I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
